Some thoughts on the pregnancy so far – from the perspective of the one who doesn’t need to carry the baby everyday.
1. Spotting spotting
Cint had some spotting on the 4th week of her pregnancy (if we calculate the date retrospectively) and we mentioned about it when we met our doctor for the first time. He prescribed for us hormonal pills to control the spotting and it did decrease in the following days. However, the spotting returned last weekend (i.e., the 8th week). We were uncertain of what this could mean, so we searched around and found that it could be breakthrough bleeding, “which happens when pregnancy hormones cover up your usual menstrual cycle, but that cycle continues for a while.” The numbers seemed to confirm it, as the spotting happened on the 4th & 8th week of the pregnancy. So it does look like ‘fake period’. We decided to wait a few days to see whether it is the case, and indeed the spotting disappeared again. It gave us a little scare, as bleeding could be associated to natural miscarriage/spontaneous abortion as well, especially in the early weeks of the pregnancy. That’s how our body naturally knows that the baby won’t develop fully. Life is fragile and our existence is precarious, indeed. If you consider that around half of fertilized eggs are aborted naturally even before the mother could realize that she is pregnant, it does make you ponder whether these can be called ‘lost lives’, when ‘life’ begins, and so on.
And I think that’s why people usually refrain from informing others about their pregnancy before getting to a relatively safer period as it would be much more difficult to retract back the news in case natural miscarriage (which you can’t really do anything about it either) happens. Natural miscarriage is one of those things that you could understand rationally unless when it happens to you.
2. Roles and routines
Both of us are late sleepers. We usually go to bed after midnight. Moreover, in Singapore, our worth as human being is correlated with the number of activities that we do. It comes as cognitive dissonance, then, when Cint found that she could not continue ‘business as usual’. Her body cries for sleep and rest and it took awhile before she could adjust to the new normal, though it seems that she is thoroughly enjoying it now.
On the other hand, I need to step up. Naturally, I need to do all of the household chores now. I am also trying my best to make our food at least not poisonous. The only non-negotiable roles in husband-wife relationship are giving birth and breastfeeding, and now and then we need to adapt to our new ‘roles’ depending on the season that we found ourselves into. And thank God he never fails to be there and guide us for every single season of our lives.