Today I went to my weekly mice MRI experiment. It has become a routine for me now. I scanned the mouse, killed it, dissected it, took the tumour out, put it in formalin. By now I have killed 11 mice. And I have become a sort of cold-blooded mice killer. I felt less remorse today compared with two weeks ago.
Anyway, today I also had lunch with my prof. And I guess he really meant it when he said that I need to eat veggie to atone for my sins of killing these mice, since two weeks ago he ate veggie and today he ate veggie as well. And two weeks ago I ate chicken chop two weeks ago and today, well, fish and chips. I guess it shows how oblivious I am to any sense of karma. And that he really believes in it.
When I thought more about it after I went back, I realized that I should have done better. I should not eat that kind of food again when we scan (and kill) the mice. I guess the killing part really bothered him such that he would not eat meat on that day. For myself, I have a pretty clear conscience of what I do. But, I might have ‘killed’ a person with my conscience. So I guess I would refrain from consuming such foods again when we scan the mice. Not because I believe in a karmic order of reality, but in order that the other might live. It’s 1 Cor 10 all over again, isn’t it.