You feel something is not right when you met confessing Christians who kept putting their needs above others. I think you would feel that way, or, at least for me, because it is completely contrary to the Lord whom we confess to follow. He is the One who gave his life for the sake of others, came not to be served but to serve, died so that the others might live. And if we, on the other hand, put the others ‘die’ so that we could live, our life would not correlate at all with what we confess.
But I guess to speak of others behind them is not up to the Gospel as well. I am just like a pot calling the kettle black.